Pretty Good Day

  Any day that I can spend with my babies is a pretty good day! There's always some chaotic event through the day but still! We didn't even leave the house but we had fun! We played outside, played monopoly (inside), I ordered pizza and we watched Disney almost all day! My sissy came over. She's in college, she has NO help , she works her butt off and does it herself. She started my FASFA form for me!! It helps SO much considering I'm lucky to have time to even brush my teeth!! She's done it so many times so she knows the drill where I look at the form and start to have an anxiety attack! She's going with me this week to the school so I can finish enrollment. I may have missed the deadline for this semester but thankfully I'll at least be ready to start in January.
   I know that I have my work cut out for me. It's going to be very difficult to raise three kids, work, volunteer AND go to school. But the thing is, well... I HAVE to do this. I have no other option. My kids deserve to have a good life. They deserve to have nice clothes, and to be able to have birthday parties and to be able to attend birthday parties instead of having to make up excuses so they don't have to say, "Sorry, we can't go because we don't have the money to get you a gift." . They are good kids and I want them to have more. I know I have to watch it though because they are already starting to be spoiled and expect things from me that we can't afford. I've really been considering taking them to the shelter to serve food so they can see how good they do have it. But then I start to feel guilty. I think about everything they've gone through. They really are good kids. Anyway, I can't describe the sorrow I feel when I think about the example I am setting. I am almost 27 and I live at home. I BARELY make it and that's only because I have help. Somehow their father, even though he's in the military, has managed to NEVER pay one cent in child support. And he only sees them maybe one week out of the year. That's fine with me though because they get so upset when they have to see him. My son takes it the hardest. He's so scared of him and his wife. They went to see him this summer for three weeks and my son was so bent out of shape that he actually gave himself a nosebleed the day they left. He was broken hearted. As his mom I wanted to say FU*K this!! He is NOT leaving! But I still feel that would only hurt him more so I push him on. I tell him it will be fine, and that he needs to see his dad and that his dad loves him. That just upsets him more and he tells me that I'm just trying to get rid of him! I know that he knows better. Kids are so much smarter than us! They'll say whatever it takes to get what they want. And even though I despise that man, they need to believe that he is wonderful and that he loves them. Even if one is a lie and the other is probably fake, for their sake they NEED to think all of this is true. I know what it's like to be scared of my dad and to not want to see him and it's not a good feeling. Thank the LORD my dad and I are okay now but we went through a lot.
   They worked out with me too! I am really sticking to this workout this time! Now, the diet I really need to work on! I worked out for almost two hours and I actually loved it! TIP: If you can't get your little ones to leave you alone long enough to exercise, have them join you!! That's it for today, thanks for reading!!